I am playing a piece that I am finding frustrating. I know it is teaching me practical things...Finger extensions, a new key, patience <sigh>. It is a simple little piece, "Allegretto" by Mozart. The note lengths are easy, it is an uncomplicated tune. I still sound like the moaning of a walrus in its death throes.
Some days when I practice, I fly through new pieces. My fingers hit the right spots, my timing is just right. It is a joy and I feel like the cello and I are best friends having this great conversation. I can spend hours playing at times like that.
Other days are a cranky pit of frustration complete with a dialogue of, "How can you not get this? How many times have you played that note wrong? How many more times are you going to playing that quaver as a crotchet?" The more I berate myself, the worse I feel and the worse I feel, the more terrible is my playing. There comes a point where I have to just put the cello away.
When my attitude is bad, when it all feels like an insurmountable chore, it feels like I am fighting with my cello. We are at odds and I need time and space to clear my head, improve my mood and come slinking back apologetically.
So right now, I am sulking. But soon I will turn to face my cello, smile and be sorry I said such harsh words. I will pick up the bow and start a new conversation.
P.S. One thing I DID learn today though, was to check my bow to make sure it is properly rosined. I was having a lot of trouble playing simple notes without excessive force and groaning, so I rosined my bow and found it made SUCH a difference. I know it is something so fundamental to playing and making sound, but sometimes the littlest things still escape my notice.
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